Swing in the City

Swing in the City is the official blog of School of Sex, Behind Closed Doors, and SiN.

Recent blog posts

Posted by on in Blog
I've noticed a trend over the past few years.  It's cool to be a swinger again.  Perhaps we have reason to thank the surge of off-premise parties for this resurgence, or maybe people are really becoming more sexually liberated in this country.  After all, in 2007 there was even a prime time television show on CBS entitled "Swing Town."

But what is a swinger?  It is someone who is sexually curious, like a woman who wants to experience another female?  How about couples who go to off-premise parties to dance half-naked and take dozens of pictures to show how wild and cool they are?  I would argue that none of those people are swingers.  Swingers are people who have sexual encounters with numerous people who they are not in a relationship with.  But does oral still count as a sexual encounter?  According to President Clinton, it wouldn't... but who was he kidding?  On that note, I should also say that cheating is never swinging -- swingers are open with their partners about the sexual activities they engage in and, most commonly, participate in those activities together.
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Posted by on in Blog

Last year's Fuck of the Year was porn star Lexington Steele.  I know many of you ladies do not know of Lex, so I'm embedding a picture for your viewing pleasure:

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Posted by on in Wall of Shame

This month's Wall of Shamer has a lot of similarities to The Clown.  He came into the Girls Untamed Annual Holiday event (where boyfriends and husbands of the women of Girls Untamed are allowed in) with his lady and seemed nice at first.  I even thought he was kind of cute and started chatting with him.  However, as soon as this Clown 2.0 started drinking, it was like deja-vu all over again.  A life-of-the-party type guy turned into the party asshole as soon as the alcohol kicked in. Why?  My guess was he was extremely uncomfortable.

As you may know, the Girls Untamed is a social event for women in the swinging lifestyle.  The goal of Girls Untamed is to empower women and help establish a strong community of swinging, open-minded, non-vanilla women.  The holiday party was completely free and the women and couples were welcome to bring a bottle of wine and appetizers.  So, how did Clown 2.0 get drunk off wine? Well, he didn't.  He brought in a flask of scotch concealed in his pocket.  What a high school level trick to pull.  I don't understand why a douche would bring a secret stash of alcohol to this kind of party.  After all, what is so great about getting drunk, acting like a moron, turning off all the ladies and prohibiting yourself from maintaining a hard-on at such an amazing party?  Maybe he should have taken his flask and gone to the AA holiday party instead. But, this lucky jerk was invited to an amazing erotic event in NYC with the sexiest, young women and couples and just couldn't mind his manners.

As soon as people started getting a frisky, Clown 2.0 started acting up.  He approached one woman who was flirting with his girlfriend and encouraged her to do "clit shots."  At first, we laughed at him and his comments, but as the night progressed, Clown 2.0 started getting more and more annoying and pushy.  He started raising his voice and screaming "THIS IS THE BEST PARTY I'VE EVER BEEN TO!"  Obnoxious, yes, but still not that bad.  Then I was began to hear all kinds of fucked up complaints about this tool and had to kick him out.  If he had only visited my blog and read up on proper etiquette maybe he wouldn't have acted like such a jackass.  In fact, a few of the ladies were very interested in his girlfriend and he probably would have had the time of his life if he stayed sober and acted like a gentleman.  I'm talking multiple threesomes at the least!  But, he didn't and you may be beginning to see a pattern with some of these Wall of Shamers.  In fact, I received an email from two women who throw parties in Canada who thanked me for posting the Wall.  They said that they encounter the same types of individuals that written about on the Wall.  They thanked me for being brutally honest and sharing my experiences.  Ladies, it's my pleasure!

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by Hannah M., as featured in Kasidie Magazine

Strutting crosstown in stilettos and a short red dress, I was excited to play a part for the night. I had no idea what, exactly, a “hostessing” position at an “erotic event” entailed. Would I be fending off naked, old swingers all night? Or stoically, unemotionally opening a dark curtain that led guests into an S&M den of inequity?

As a serial-monogamous 22 year old, I had only experienced the swing scene through Henry Miller novels. Organized orgies? I didn’t know they existed – outside of Europe and porn. But when “School of Sex” responded to my job wanted ad on Craigslist, I was intrigued enough to accept the gig.

The entrance to the building in Midtown was unremarkable. There was no indication that any type of party would be taking place that night. I called the male host, “Rocco,” from downstairs as businessmen passed me by on the street. He buzzed me up. The loft was huge and sparsely decorated, with a curtained-in area filled with mattresses.

The clack of my stilettos echoed off the walls as average-Joes walked in and out of the outdoor terrace, setting up speakers and dispersing bowls of condoms throughout the room. I didn’t know whom to approach for instructions, so I just stood there, awkwardly watching hardcore porn on the screen behind the bar. After several minutes of watching lubed-up breasts on screen, I was approached by a smiling, curvaceous 20-something in a schoolgirl’s skirt.

...
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Posted by on in Wall of Shame
November's Wall-of-Shamer is a guy I met at a recent party I hosted.  At first, the man seemed fine; he was outgoing and full of compliments.  However, after one too many drinks, a jerk emerged.  He began offering suggestions as to how I should run the event -- from mixer games to what type of porn I should play.  I always appreciate suggestions, but he wouldn't leave me alone!  He also didn't seem to understand that I don't force hookups at Behind Closed Doors events.  Instead, I let things happen organically.  If there is chemistry, couples and single ladies can figure it out!  In fact, I told him how much I despise games that force you to hook up with someone you have absolutely no attraction to.
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Posted by on in Product Reviews
Babeland's Divine Vibe is another new-age sex toy for women. The shape of the vibrator is unique because it is angled to stimulate that hard-to-reach G-spot. I really liked the design of the toy as well as the packaging. But, as nice as the boy looked inside the box, the real test came when I inserted it inside me. I put on one of my favorite porn series, Fuck Team Five by BangBros. to get me riled up. I placed the batteries inside the toy (batteries not included) and turned it on. I'm not a big fan of overly-powerful vibrators so I thought the speed was just right. 
 

 

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Posted by on in Blog
My email box has been flooded with inquiries from Behind Closed Doors guests as to whether Tiger Woods was in fact at one of the Behind Closed Doors sex parties earlier in the year.  I can neither confirm nor deny that Tiger Woods attended any event due to our strict privacy policy.  It is extremely important that I protect the identity of each and every BCD guest.  When it comes to celebrities, I am even more cautious because I do not want to fuel media frenzy or endanger the anonymity of the rest of my guests.

I typically instruct celebrities that wish to attend our events to come incognito so that even the other guests do not recognize them.  Status and fame don't matter at our parties, because everyone is classy and intelligent.  It's all about raw attraction and passion.  Where can else can you go to find a crowd of hand-picked, sexy couples and single women who are sexually open minded and ready to play?

One thing that I will say is -- if Tiger Woods did attend, he most certainly did not come with his wife, Elin Nordegren.  If he had brought her, and attended Swing School, perhaps the couple would have opened new lines of communication so Tiger could be honest about his obvious sexual needs and allowed to explore them in a safe, controlled environment.  In return, maybe Elin could have gotten with another strapping hunk of a man as well!

I will also comment that dozens of celebrities have in fact attended our parties, and they are always impressed with how I handle discretion and my advice to them on how to approach the evening.  Indeed, lawyers, doctors, bankers, and even politicians who also attend our parties are always discreet -- what happens Behind Closed Doors stays there!

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Posted by on in Sex News
Vanillas often judge open-minded swingers for having multiple sexual relations and believe that having casual sex causes emotional and psychological damage.  Well, a surprising new study reveals that having casual sex may not be a bad thing.  That is, if you are responsible and safe, of course. 

Despite the pervasive belief that hooking up casually is detrimental to the well-being of young adults, researchers found that not to be the case in a recent study, reports the Minneapolis Star Tribune. The study asked 1,311 Minnesota-based young adults, between the ages of 18 and 24, about their most recent sexual experiences, their self-esteem and their general well-being after the experience.  Only one-fifth of the subjects said their most recent experience was casual. And overall, their emotional status wasn’t any different from those who said their last sexual experience was with a committed partner.

“We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, who is an assistant professor at the university School of Public Health.  “The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, 'friends with benefits,' and hooking up is hurtful. That's what we've been teaching kids for decades,” she said, adding that abstinence-only sex education programs in particular enforce this notion.


Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/12/09/2009-12-09_casual_sex_hookups_arent_emotionally_damaging_study_finds.html#ixzz0ZOnFNDQm

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Posted by on in Blog

I throw erotic events in NYC for fun because my husband Rocco and I wanted to introduce something entirely unique to the city; a selective party that attracts open-minded, attractive people and cultivates an entirely organic sexual experience. New Yorkers are some of the hottest (but most stressed) people in the world, and we wanted to provide them with a clean, classy, erotic environment to explore their sexuality. We simply wanted to throw the kinds of parties that we would want to attend. I run all the parties and make sure the ladies have a great time. My parties are all about female sexual empowerment. I also screen all of my guests to ensure everyone has a fantastic time. Hosting the parties and School of Sex seminars is not my full-time job. In fact, I have a very successful career and do not run the School of Sex to make money. I guess you can call me a sexual philanthropist -- between my time and the expensive venues I utilize, I am lucky to break even on an event at the low prices we charge.

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School of Sex and Behind Closed Doors were happy to celebrate our one year anniversary in November 2009.  We invited all of our approved members who previously attended our events to come out and celebrate this special milestone with us.  But since our credo is to introduce beginners into the lifestyle, we also extended a few invitations to couples who haven't had the chance to attend one of our parties.  And how did we celebrate our anniversary?  By taking care of all the expenses and providing our guests a chance to attend a party at absolutely no cost!  But wait, I know what you're thinking-you've never heard of a free on-premise couples party before.  Was Behind Closed Doors trying to up-sell anything?  Were guests forced to purchase bottle service or Swing School lessons?  What was the catch?

If you've read about my past parties, you probably know that I like to do things a little differently than other swing parties you may have heard of or been to.  So, no, I wasn't trying to up-sell any items, services or anything like that.  In fact, we even provided a free Swing School--no strings attached.  School of Sex took care of all the affiliated costs of hosting a party at a prime location in a cozy but sexy midtown Manhattan space.  With the help of our friend and sponsor, Sam--the original King of Swing--we were able to host an amazing party and provide the community with a totally unique party the likes of which New York has never heard of!  Who would be crazy enough to lose money on a free event?  People who are not trying to profit off swing parties but are trying to grow the swingers community and provide people with many sources of information, counseling and a place to meet other, like-minded individuals such as themselves--that is the principal behind School of Sex and that is what makes us so different than anything else out there.

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Posted by on in Product Reviews

Babeland's Fusion Duality Vibrator is truly the next generation of vibrators. I have personally never been the biggest fan of vibrators--I like them but usually in conjunction with something else (like, a hard dick for example). Therefore, I haven't ventured out and bought many vibrators in the past couple of years (unless you count the Sybian). I was excited to receive the Fusion Duality vibrator from Babeland because-well, just look at it! It looks cool as hell! I didn't know whether I should put this thing inside my vagina or leave it out on the table as abstract art! I did take it out, but then I realized I didn't have 4 AAA batteries. So, Rocco went to the store and bought some rechargeable NiMH AAA's. So, ladies (and gentlemen) make sure you are well stocked or you won't be able to use the device.

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Posted by on in Sex News

University tuition is anything but cheap these days.  That is one of the reasons why School of Sex has a scholarship program for graduate students who wish to attend our parties.  But a woman in London took tuition reimbursement to a whole new level.  She is known as London's "Belle de Jour" and became a call-girl in order to pay for her PhD.

But what makes Belle de Jour so special?  Haven't women partaken in the oldest profession in the world or hooked up with sugar daddies in order to afford the finer things in life (or sometimes, even life's necessities)?  Let's step back and see some other women who have been collecting tuition by alternative means. Melissa Beech (not her real name), a college senior from a swanky suburb outside Philadelphia, wrote about how a sugar daddy is paid for her schooling in The Daily Beast. Until last fall, a student alleging to be a call girl detailed her experiences on her blog, Confessions of a College Callgirl. And last summer, a Knoxville, Tenn. media outlet interviewed a 19-year-old using escorting to pay for massage therapy school.

The number of students having sex for tuition money has exploded in Europe, and experts believe it will continue to rise due to the rising costs of education. British researchers found this unusual trend in sex work has grown by 50 percent over the past seven years. In early 2008, France's education minister vowed to increase financial support after a freshman's diary and a book of interviews with undergrads exposed their experiences with prostitution.

To read the entire story, please click here.

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Posted by on in Advice

This week's question comes from ADICKted. She asks,


Dear SK, I have been a regular at the XXXTreme Events parties for women that love multiple men. However, I have not been able to attend recently because I have a new boyfriend and I'm not sure how to introduce the idea of swinging to him. I don't want to scare him away because I really like him. But, I keep craving multiple cock. The sex he and I have together is incredible-don't get me wrong. But, the idea of playing with multiple men and being the center of attention really excites me. I am constantly fantasizing about it. How do I tell my new boyfriend that I'm addicted to gangbangs and MMF threesomes? ~Adickted
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Posted by on in Wall of Shame

I know you readers have been waiting for a good, juicy Hall of Shame post so here it is.  A man who shall herein be called "the clown" came to a pre-Halloween private party accompanied by a good friend of mine.  The party was small, about half a dozen couples.  I was told that the clown had previous experience with group sex in an orgy situation, and was attractive. However, more important than experience or looks is one's attitude.

 

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Posted by on in Blog

I am starting a new segment on the blog called "Porn Star of the Week." This week's featured star is Jesse Jane (born Cindy Taylor on July 16, 1980 in Fort Worth Texas). You may have seen her in some very popular porn movies including Pirates. Jesse Jane has gotten more mainstream in recent years and even made an appearance on the HBO series Entourage. Jesse Jane is married to Rick Patrick, who is about a foot taller than her. Good news ladies--Jesse describes herself as a bisexual female. She has even hosted a few swinger parties, including a recent party in Texas. Jesse told me that although traditional swinger parties have less than atrtractive crowdsand she has nothing against that, it's nice to find a party like Behind Closed Doors which attracts younger, attractive people. I recently met Jesse Jane at Exxotica, where she endorsed School of School.  She was not only gorgeous, but extremely friendly -- and sexy!!!
 
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Posted by on in Sex News
According to a recent interview, Nicole Kidman has dipped her feet into some fetish-related activities. When interviewed, Nicole said she has had some kinky fun: "I've explored obsession. I've explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I've explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I've explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy."

What was that part about strange sexual fetishes?

"It's a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you're very much out at sea,” says Kidman about her marriage to Keith. “You're exposed. You could drown." Drown? Does Keith have that large a load?

Hey, maybe Nicole will show up to the Behind Closed Doors Eyes Wide Shut party with a mask on. You never know.

To read the entire story, click here or visit http://blog.mrskin.com/nicole-kidman-sexual-fetish---12700.

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Posted by on in Blog
We visited Desire in Cancun, Mexico for the first annual Kasidie takeover. As soon as we got to the resort, we were completely turned on by the erotically charged atmosphere. Almost everyone was completely naked, roaming the resort, relaxing, and playing. We wondered how many hot couples we'd meet; we were extremely excited -- and horny!

As we toured the resort for the first time, I noticed Rocco's eyes locked on a cute Mexican lady. She kept smiling at us. She was with her husband, who began to disrobe by the pool. Whoa there! Before I even noticed his face or athletic body, I was taken aback by the size of his lower member. He was hung... boy oh boy! He looked more European than Mexican -- but we overheard them both speaking Spanish. I smiled and nodded at Rocco as if to say, "Go for her, I want them!" He kept the eye contact going but was interrupted since we had to go check into our room.

As we were escorted by the bellboy to our room, we noticed the cute couple making their way up too! We wondered if they were coming to say hello. It turned out, however, that they were staying in the room right next door to ours! We quickly unpacked our stuff, and Rocco wrote a quick note on the back of one of our School of Sex business cards stating: "You guys are really hot! We'd love to get together. We are staying in room 1016 -- come by any time! ~Sex Kitten & Rocco" We weren't sure whether the couple spoke English, but we figured that the message would be a good way to find out.

We didn't see the couple again until the next day. They smiled at us again, but didn't approach us. Rocco and I thought that maybe we were too aggressive. Perhaps these two weren't swingers? Maybe they weren't into us? And then, utter confusion ensued. Around 5pm, we saw the couple engaging with another, much older couple at the jacuzzi. The older male really wasn't attractive, but his wife was. It was light playing, but we noticed a lot of flirting and even some oral. The older couple spoke Spanish as well. Maybe that was it? The cute couldn't speak English and were looking for Spanish-speaking couples? We were totally clueless as to what was going on.

As I mentioned in an earlier post on Desire, lots of people were begging for action but had no idea how to "seal the deal." So, I distributed bright pink wristbands to females that were open to "full swap." This way, the true swingers could easily find playmates. As I was putting a wristband on a sexy lady from Cali, the cute Mexican couple walked by. This time, I spoke up. "Are you two full swap?" I asked. They looked perplexed. I clarified -- "Swinger?" I pointed to Rocco and then to the pretty Mexican lady and said, "You and him," and then I pointed to myself and the hung mystery male and said, "And us?" They replied, "Si, Si! SWINGER!" I did it, I broke the language barrier!!!

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Posted by on in Product Reviews

I am always excited to review multi-task products! So, when Babeland asked me to review a candle that melts body massage oil, I was thrilled! The product is called the Afterglow Candle. Babeland's website suggests lighting up the Afterglow Candle to set a romantic mood, then blow it out, dip the included body brush in the melted wax, and paint the warm oil in areas to be massaged. When heated, the wax liquefies into high-slip massage oil that softens and hydrates the skin. The unique blend of cosmetic-grade waxes provides great sensation at the perfect melting point. Pour a little on the skin, and enjoy the silky warmth. More than a candle, it's an encounter. Burns up to 42 hours, every one of them memorable. Matchbox included.

I get excited every time I light this candle because I know it's going to lead to massage...and massage leads to...well, you can read about it by clicking here. However, for the sake of the product review, I will primarily focus on the product, and not the sex experienced before and after use of the candle.

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Posted by on in Party Recaps

The latest Behind Closed Doors party was hosted by Naughty America porn star, Karen. A week before the scheduled party, we were having trouble with our online reservation system. As you might have noticed, I'm in the middle of a massive overhaul of the School of Sex website which will no doubt be the highest quality lifestyle information portal and FREE social network on the internet. Since we were unable to guarantee any spots with the reservation system, the party operated on a first come, first serve basis to approved guests. We had quite a guest list, filled with hot couples and beautiful single ladies. And then, they all started coming. Normally, we expect a certain percentage of cancellations at every event. But this time, that didn't happen! Apparently, the word is out about our events and no one wanted to be left behind. We actually had to turn away a few guests as the evening progressed! We really impressed Karen Kougar with the quality of the guests -- and all of the attendees concurred, this was a HOT party.

Karen, Rocco and I were happy to greet all the sexy BCD guests. Karen also helped as a Swing School co-instructor - and we did a fantastic job acquainting new couples with the "lifestyle." We had a ton of repeat guests too! I was happy to introduce all our old and new friends to Karen as she signed autographs and mingled. As more friends joined us, I also introduced the ladies to Kimberly and her team from StripXpertease. I am pleased to announce that School of Sex and StripXpertease will be working together to offer private lapdance lessons -- and yes, you'll be able to book sessions through the new School of Sex website. Many of the guests approached me to tell me that they had never seen so many beautiful people at one party. I only had one thing to say: BCD members are not only the hottest and sexiest people in the city, but also have the best attitude of any lifestylers! Why? We provide a warm, inviting environment where pretentiousness and judgments have no place. We screen all of our guests to ensure that everyone is beautiful, both inside and out.

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Posted by on in Club and party reviews
This is the first post in a series of my adventures at Desire with the Kasidie takeover!

We arrived at in Cancun on Friday, Oct 9 for the first annual Kasidie takeover at Desire. Our flight had been relatively smooth. There weren't any delays on our nonstop flight from JFK, which clocked in at less than 4 hours. After a relatively short cab ride from the airport, we entered the gates which housed Desire along with a few other resorts. We liked the fact that security was tight and had verified our names before letting the cab pass through.

After an additional 5 minutes of driving, we arrived at the large gate. They did another check to verify that we were indeed guests. Welcome to PARADISE! As soon as we stepped through the large glass doors into Desire, we smiled. A sculpture of a naked couple served as the lobby's centerpiece and erotic paintings of women surrounded us. I was already desiring to get laid...
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